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I just want to be done with thinking about him. I want everything about him to go away.  I feel sick all day. Sick to my stomach. I want to cry. Why does it hurt so much after its been so long? 

My stomach is twisted into knots. These pulsating knots that have a mind of their own. I try to eat and it just makes me feel worse. I’m surrounded by my amazing family. I just want to enjoy my time with them. I want to hug them and hang out and be present. I’m trying so hard but I end up telling them that I’m tired, and I’m going to take a nap just so I don’t fall apart, cry in front of them. 

I want to move on so badly.

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